I ate like billionaire Warren Buffett for a week — and I felt awful

So Warren Buffett is the second-wealthiest man in the world. He is the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway and a legendary investor, possibly one of the most successful investors of all time. Warren Buffett eats like a child. He admittedly eats like a child. For breakfast, Buffett goes to McDonald’s. He either has — if the market is down, he’ll have just two sausage patties. If the market is flat: sausage McMuffin with egg and cheese. If the market’s up: bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. He owns Dairy Queen, so a lot of Dairy Queen. And dinner is — that was country-fried steak smothered in gravy with mashed potatoes. Chicken parmesan was one of my meals. I consumed a two-liter of Cherry Coke every day. Over the course of the five days, I had about 1,260 grams of sugar. That comes out to about 2.78 pounds of sugar. Also one part of Buffett’s kind of repertoire is to put extra salt on everything. I felt bloated every day. There would usually be, like, an intense sugar crash and caffeine crash from the Cherry Coke. You know, my coworkers were saying that I was irritable. I became especially lethargic.

The last meal we went to Warren Buffett’s favorite steakhouse in New York City, Smith & Wollensky. I said, “You know, just give me what the man himself got,” which was honestly just a huge mistake. He usually gets the 32-ounce Colorado rib-eye — so a two-pound steak attached to the bone. Something you would, you know, a caveman would beat someone else over the head with. It was absolutely massive So, you know, when I got home, I felt almost, like, food drunk. I was, like, bursting at the seams. So, you know, honestly, I had the knee sweats again. I just took off my shirt and my pants and just laid down in the starfish motion on the ground in my living room, just staring up at the ceiling contemplating how in the world an 87-year-old man has made it (a.) this far in life, and (b.) continues to make it this far in life consuming the amount of calories and just absolute terrible junk food that he does, and finally decided that I wasn’t going to eat anything but vegetables for the next 48 hours.